Custer\'s Last Stand

Hello and Welcome to Channel 7 news at 11:00. Today we have a

Special Broadcast coming to us live from Washington D.C. We are
going to join Bill Beutel in a couple of seconds. Ready

Bill.....Ok we are now sending you live to Washington.....

Bill: "Custer\'s Last Stand"...this rings a bell in the minds of
many as you will see in tonight\'s segments..."Custer Stands

Again". Tonight we will have a one on one, first time interview
with General George Armstrong Custer. His death stirred up bitter
controversy. Well he is with us today for one last chance to get
to the bottom of everything. Let me introduce General George

Armstrong

Custer. Hello General.

Custer: Hello Bill, how are you doing?

Bill: Fine, and how are you? You are looking very good today. I
am glad you took time out of your busy schedule to spend some
time with us and our loyal viewers today.

Custer: Thank You for the compliment Bill, you are looking good
yourself. I myself have been on a Nutri System Diet and have lost

15 pounds, I feel like a new man.

Bill: Ok we have a very short time slot here so lets get the most
out of this once in a lifetime interview. Are you ready?

Custer: I was born ready Bill. Go Ahead, Fire!!! Wait don\'t fire,

I meant start asking your questions when your ready. All I have
to do is answer them, you have the tough half in asking the
questions.

Bill: Ok, here goes, Are Those Bugle Boy Jeans that you are
wearing??!!??

Custer: Why yes, as a matter of fact they are. I bought them just
for this show. I didn\'t seem to understand that question.

Bill: I was just kidding, I was just trying to break the ice
between us because we will be bordering on some very touchy
matters. Ok then lets get straight to the point. What are were
your personal feelings towards the Indians?

Custer: I believed then and I believe now that they were
uncivilized and just couldn\'t keep up with us Americans. They
were also very dark due to the fact that they were squalid. They
refused to wear normal clothing and walked around half naked.

They were inferior to us in more ways than others.

Bill: That is a very harsh statement that you have stated. Can
you back up that remark?

Custer: Well of course I can, one that pops into my mind is their
use of the Bow and Arrow compared to our more advanced fire
power, rifles. How could they even stand a chance against
us? For such ignorance they deserved what they received!!!!!

Bill: Lets back up a little and go a little off the topic for a
second, if you don\'t mind, can you summarize to us how you became
what you were and are today? I would like to know and I am
sure a lot of the viewers would like to know also.

Custer: Ohh Boy, that\'s going back a long way but give me a
minute. Ok, it started a long time ago when I was a young lad. I
did not work hard at my studies. I graduated at the bottom of my
class fro the U.S. Military Academy at West Point in 1861, and
joined the Union Forces in the Civil War. I can honestly say that

I was and still am very smart but I never accerted myself, I
guess you could say that I was lazy.

Well, during the war I served with General McClellan in Virginia.

In 1863 I was assigned to the cavalry and soon revealed daring
and brilliance as an officer. As a result I was promoted quickly.

When the war ended, I was made a lieutenant colonel and sent to

Kansas to fight Indians. After that I did whatever I could to
help the country and I soon became General.

Well that was a lot to swallow I hope that you got it all.

Bill: Wow, that was very interesting. Ok, when you were ruining
the lives of Indians by killing them and herding them off their
land, like cows, into unknown and uncharted reservations didn\'t
you feel any pity? Did you not have a heart!!??!!

Custer: I don\'t feel any pity for the Indians, not one bit. None
of this was necessary if they listened to us. It was because of
their ignorance that all this started. They were a backwards
culture and we were a prospering one. They were holding us back
and that was counter productive so we did what was in