Visits to the School Office

Situated at the front of the school, and ever-present in the back of
every student\'s mind, is the dark, ominous, Kremlin-like structure known as
the attendance office. Every student knows that there are only three
reasons for being there: a friendly yet cold visit to clear absences or get
information, a teacher sanctioned errand, and, the dreaded one, a
disciplinary referral.

The first reason for going to the office is perhaps the least involved in
procedure: a student comes to the cold, yet courteous staff, states his
business, manages to get what he wants if he\'s polite, then leaves. A visit
of this sort normally lasts less than ten minutes, though it can take
substantially longer if there are people waiting in line for the same
thing, such as a schedule change. This type of visit also falls under the
category of a friendly visit, where the student feels confident because he
has a reason for being there.

The second force that will call a student to the office is a teacher
asking him to run an errand. The privilege of avoiding class to run an
errand for the teacher is always fought over. This type of office trip
usually involves dropping off some scrap of paper to the proper individual
or hunting someone down to ask them a question. Sometimes, finding the
right person or whatever can become a quite lengthy procedure, taking the
student\'s search all across the campus and eventually concluding at

McDonald\'s or Taco Bell. This type of office visit is by far the most fun.

The final, and most dreaded type of office summons is the type that is
required for disciplinary actions. This usually takes the form of a summons
slip from the office, a visit from a Narc, or a teacher screaming, "Get
out!" at the top of his lungs, which is normally followed shortly by a
swift messenger carrying a referral slip. In this type of visit, the idea
is to totally demoralise the student, making him sit in front of the door
of either the dreaded Morrison or the even more dreaded Putnam. During this
time the student is supposed to feel remorse for what he did. However, the
student usually feels sorry only for not getting away with what he did.

After a seemingly endless period of waiting, the student is called into the
office of the residing disciplinarian. After a long lecture about how he\'s
destroying his life and a humiliating call to a parent, the student is
either sent back to class with a warning or sent home with a suspension
notice. This type of office visit is the one that is most feared by
students and loved by sadistic teachers. It is also interesting to note
that it occurs with far greater frequency that the other types. All that
can be said about this type of experience is that it is to be avoided.

Throughout his academic career,the typical F.U.H.S. student is likely to
experience all of these three classes of friendly and unfriendly office
adventures, with the unfriendly type being the most dominant. From
examining the three types, it is only obvious that teachers and
administrators care little for student comfort and convenience during
office visits.